Mindful Parenting: How I am connecting with my children
How do you deeply connect with your child: Do you feel you aren't getting through to your child? Like your child doesn't listen or follow your requests or seems hardened to anger? Do you regularly yell, give "consequences," or put your child in time-out? We are in a busy season of life. Our schedules are jam-packed with activities, school, tutoring, COVID is still a factor in many of our decisions, I am a small business owner, James is growing like a weed, we volunteer, and so much more. Brandon and I were noticing a shift in the kids' behavior and attitude. Somehow, we lost focus on their unique personalities. Things had to change. Well, here is my take on mindful parenting. Please note that I am not trained, licensed, or even certified. I am just a regular mom sharing my thoughts and opinions.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids:
The three concepts I use to create a good relationship with my kids are: Regulating Myself, Fostering Connection, and Coaching, Not Controlling. Developing a positive connection encourages Hen and Lena to listen to me easily and accept my guidance, the bonding connection itself is a reward that I am thoroughly enjoying now as an adult with my parents. Small moments add up, having a healthy foundation is key.
How does one connect more deeply with their child?
Every interaction you have creates your relationship with your child, and in this case, without quantity, there's no quality. Unfortunately, life, with its many distractions and separations, has a way of eroding connection. Our focus as parents is to repeatedly reconnect with the children to build a strong connection with them individually and collectively. Effective parenting is almost impossible until a positive connection with the child has been re-established, so think of it as preventative maintenance before there's a problem.
How do you know there's a problem with your Connection and repair work is needed?
If you feel you aren't getting through to your child; if your child doesn't listen or follow your requests or seems hardened to anger; if you regularly yell, give "consequences," or constantly put your child in time-out, then your relationship with your child needs work.
How to Repair your Relationship!
All of us have emotional bank accounts. When we set limits with our children, deny their unreasonable requests, and correct their behavior, things we're supposed to do. We can only get away with it if they have enough positive, loving, and affirming interactions that create a balance in our relationship account. There are many ways to create these interactions, but there is one that is as magical as waving a wand. TIME!!! This is the thing that will TRANSFORM your relationship with your child. It's the secret answer to all parenting problems. The best thing to do to connect with your child is to give them special attention, and it will bring them closer to you.
Other things you can do besides special time are:
Develop small rituals that help reconnect with your child throughout your day, especially around separations.
Turn off technology - Make evening about family time
When you physically reconnect, consciously refocus your attention on your child.
For every negative interaction, ensure positive interactions. Become a brilliant listener. Be fully present. Acknowledge and reflect their feelings. Ask Nonjudgmental questions. Don't jump in with solutions or advice, and manage your own emotions.
Conclusion:
In a Nutshell, all of these things have helped us when I want our children to listen to us. Remember—Connection before correction. And when we correct, we want to coach, not control. Parenting is hard, life is hard. Our goal is to raise truly happy kids.
Do you have any other tips or recommendations? Let’s connect on Instagram you can fid me @sincerely.schwartz
